Wednesday, December 21, 2005

The Electric Lie

‘Tis the season to be swindled once again by the promise of baby smooth cheeks without the risk of razors. Three pivoting "heads," comforting cream and no irritation is the false prophet's promise blasted on high over the Christmas cavalcade of commercials. Every year more and more unsuspecting chin-scraping fools fall for the Happy Norelco pitch. And every year, more and more stubble free dreams are dashed like puppies at the quarry. We’ve all been there, we have all given the electric razor a try and we have them all jammed in bathroom cabinets, where they collect dust atop the tad bit of beard dust they excavated one week after Christmas. Indeed, in less than a year, a perfectly respectable gift gets swallowed by the mighty mouth of the bathroom sink cupboard. There must be hundreds of them down under there already. And yet every Christmas we are once again drawn by the siren’s silky smooth call of the electric lie -– but be warned and heed the wisdom of wily whiskers; resist these Satanic stubble sirens! Or you shall surely suffer the clattering clutter that these so-called cutters leave in their whisker whacking wake.

1 comment:

scribe said...

I think you've stubbled on to something here friend and just in the nic of time. But it's not only the "chin scrapping fools”, that need to heed your warning, it's the significant gift buying others, the family and friends, in search of a gift worthy of giving unsuspectingly taken in by the onslaught of commercial air time filled with race cars, hot chicks and of course that nifty little graphic showing how the hair is pulled then cut for a closer shave, all of which leaves the unsuspecting gift buyer muttering, "that would be perfect for Frank." Well Frank's bathroom cabinet is full honey. Here's an idea buy Frank an old fashion shave at a barber shop, you know the kind, where two bits got you the skinny on the street and the closest shave in town, the kind where men of respect would be rubbed out in a hail of machine gun fire. My point is Frank and every other post pubescent man out there doesn’t want nor need nor uses that electric razor!!!! Amen brother….Now a nose hair trimmer, that’s a different story…