Saturday, November 05, 2005

Underwear Recording Recovered

Though we are unable to post Dr. Drew Davenport's complete audio sermon due to a protracted legal battle with his surviving relatives, we are proud to bring you this short clip. Recorded surreptitiously under the blouse of one Marsha Mannheim (devout follower of Dr. Drew and a PANGEA employee).

The tragedy of Dr. Danvenport's untimely demise and that of his followers should not be allowed to overshadow the amazing message of hope and Puritanical morality that he was driven to share with us all. It is our sincere hope to one day broadcast his message in its entirety -- minus the suicide part, of course, so that we may all rejoice and boogie-down with the Lord! Jesus liebt dich! This one is for you Marsha, wherever you are.


Justice Knows No Talent

Driven to unimaginable heights of accomplishment by an unreasonable lack of respect from his parents, Baynard Kendrick produced his first radio play, entitled “Blind Justice.”

This forty minute foray into the realm of detective drivel held the promise of the cascading career that Mr. Kendrick enjoyed as a head writer and creative intellect at PANGEA Corporation, until his untimely death in 1977. An answer to the pulpy B-movies made based on his novels, Kendrick controlled the whole enchillada -- from scripting to casting to producing. PANGEA footed the bill and chalked up a credit in radio programming. Kendrick was way ahead of his time, predicting the digital recorder and other hi-tech devices, all used in sound engineering. He was obsessed with it all his life.

Crafted with archetypical characters and unavoidably bizarre and Columboesque plot twists, this story of a blind detective shines a penetrating light on the thinly veiled social outcry heard so frequently in our country, as judges create laws rather than interpret them. Critics hailed "Blind Justice" as Falknian, with its turgid similarities to the famous trenchcoated detective. Historians know, however, that Kendrick penned and produced the first Iris McCann (aka "Spud Savage") adventure an amazing 49 years before "Columbo" debuted on NBC! Kendrick was constantly changing the names of his lead characters to avoid confusion from one type of media to another. He even changed his own name and went by Richard Hayward when he was screenwriting.

Couched in a cacophony of original music created for the series by the stunningly talented composer Desha Dunnahoe, this midday macabre and merciless mystery reaches well beyond the talents of all involved -- and thrust Baynard Kendrick's legendary launch into the oblivious orb of radio history. It's hardly worth mentioning the recent ABC debacle, "Blind Justice," which is in no way related to this radio masterpiece from another era. So sit back, close your eyes and embrace the darkness of the world’s greatest blind detective!

“In the land of the blind, the man madly swinging his baseball bat is king.” -- Iris McCann

Blind Justice

A First Trimester Tragedy

It began as one man’s dream and ended in a nightmare for millions. I am referring, of course, to “Pig Racer.” A project conceived in the back alley of animation and aborted into a ninth grade science class -- where it floats today, in a formaldehyde coffin for all to see. And now you can see it too.

Originally conceived as a prequel to "Love That Bob," "Pig Racer" got off to a bumpy start in the development department, where short-fused writer, Danny Maris, derided the notion of Bob being a pig. His objections were not religious, as some have speculated, but rather hormonal. Seems Maris was in the last throws of sexual reassignment -– his/her estrogen levels were peaking and her/his pork tolerance was at an all time low. Regardless of the reasoning behind this pro-choice aborted premise, all that remains is this pre-production teaser. We dedicate this presentation to Danniela Maris -- it was your right.
Pig Racer

Home is Where You Hang Your Tea Cup

It's November and the Toy Industry Association announced last month that they had selected a new facility on Church Street in Manhattan to be the home of the new toy center, due to the sell of the previous property on 23rd and Broadway. Then a few days later came the announcement that the new facility was no longer the choice -- and the search would go on. February is the month for the traditional International Toy Fair in New York. One cannot help but feel these reverberations of being unsettled as a metaphor for the industry itself. With compression of demographics, kids who bail out of imaginative play to be cast into graphical virtual worlds, the toy business as it was once known is now awash in confusion, diffusion, illusion and delusion. Behind it all, one must remember the little manufacturer of tea cups on the 12th floor who writes $25 million dollars worth of business every year -- all from a 200 square foot showroom. One must remember there are rules -- and that the rules, like tiny porcelain tea cups, must be broken from time to time. So what is the new rule for the toy industry? Find a building -- because a widening gyre is not good for business. This is America, for goodness sake! How long must one man look to find a place to sell his toy tea cups?